Players and coaches · 12 dispatches
Cristiano Ronaldo
All dispatches about Cristiano Ronaldo. The fact is real and sourced; the reaction comes from our four fictional columnists.
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One euro a vote, no limit, for the best ever: the gaffer recognises his raffle
On the official Ballon d’Or website, the public can vote for the “Ballon d’Or of All-Time” at one euro a go, as many times as they like according to VoetbalPrimeur. Cristiano Ronaldo…
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Ronaldo adds his CV to his disciplinary defence: Louise looks for the cover letter
Suspended for thirty days and fined 255 euros by the Portuguese federation, Cristiano Ronaldo had submitted his sporting CV, prizes and awards included, to the disciplinary committee to get a lighter sanction.…
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Ronaldo banned for 30 days and fined 255 euros: the dressing-room kitty takes notes
Portugal’s football federation has banned Cristiano Ronaldo from the national team for 30 days and fined him 255 euros. He had left the training camp after a row with coach Jorge Jesus…
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The Portuguese federation posts an Al-Nassr goal: Marcel rereads his weekly
The Portuguese Football Federation promoted Cristiano Ronaldo’s 980th goal, scored for Al-Nassr against Al-Diriyah, on social media. It did not share Samu Costa’s goal, and has made no official comment on the…
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Ronaldo warmed up and never came on in Norway, Freddy reopens his substitutions folder
Left on the bench against Norway after a long warm-up, Cristiano Ronaldo walked out of the Portugal camp. In his statement, he says Jorge Jesus was to admit that mistake at a…
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Ronaldo “available” but absent while Jesus stays: Louise looks for the misunderstanding
According to CNN Portugal, Cristiano Ronaldo will not return to the national team as long as Jorge Jesus is the head coach. In his statement the player says he is available, though,…
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Ronaldo can “come back whenever he wants”, Marcel notes Portugal win without waiting
Portugal beat Norway 2-1 in Porto and qualified for the Nations League quarter-finals, without Cristiano Ronaldo. National team coach Jorge Jesus said the forward would be called up for the next window.
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Jacob Friis bombs with a Ronaldo joke, Freddy tries his at the team talk
On Friday, before Finland v Albania in the Nations League, Jacob Friis joked about the Ronaldo drama at Portugal without getting a single laugh. He later accused the journalists of making him…
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“Our best match so far,” says Jorge Jesus: Louise looks for where “so far” ends
Portugal beat Denmark 4-2 in Copenhagen. At the press conference, head coach Jorge Jesus refused to talk about Cristiano Ronaldo, who left the Portuguese camp on Wednesday evening, and spoke of the…
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Fred rates Ten Hag tactically but says he fell out with everyone: Freddy feels targeted
On the Charla Podcast, former Manchester United Brazilian midfielder Fred described Erik ten Hag as one of the best tacticians he has known, while saying he had rows with the whole squad,…
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Cabango asks Haaland for his shirt and Haaland keeps his own: Louise opens a tab
Wales beat Norway 2-1 in the Nations League at Cardiff City Stadium. Defender Ben Cabango, who shackled Erling Haaland, got the striker’s shirt after the game, and Haaland did not take his…
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Højlund does the absent Ronaldo’s “Siuuu”, Louise tries to work out who it was for
Portugal beat Denmark 4-2 in Copenhagen on Thursday in the Nations League, without Cristiano Ronaldo, who left the squad the day before. Rasmus Højlund equalised at 2-2 by imitating his celebration.