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Two goals ruled out for Erenbjerg at Genk: Nadine’s thermometer reads two and zero
Jeppe Erenbjerg saw both his goals ruled out for offside on Saturday against KV Mechelen. The Genk striker, who scored thirteen for Zulte Waregem last season, is still on zero after ten games, with three assists.
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It’s true, we checked
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Müller recounts the 1-7 of 2014 on a podcast, Marcel would have preferred the weekly
Twelve years after Brazil-Germany (1-7), Thomas Müller explained on the podcast The Late Run that he spent the last quarter of an hour avoiding David Luiz. He also remembers the 0-5 at…
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Kohnen played in front of 40 people: Freddy counts his own on the touchline
Charleroi travel to Standard on Sunday, at Sclessin, for a match behind closed doors. Their manager Mario Kohnen points out that he started out in amateur football, in front of around forty…
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Bayern shutters left open for a few minutes: Nadine sees a sign
On Monday, a few shutters on the new fences around Bayern Munich’s training ground stayed open for a few minutes, letting Bild see Luis Díaz, Joshua Kimmich, Manuel Neuer and Alphonso Davies.…
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Bochum ban fans from jumping in the stand until 2028: Freddy revises his pressing
VfL Bochum, in the German second division, announced on Wednesday a “springverbod” (jumping ban) for its home supporters, valid from the following weekend until 2028 at least. A firm of engineers found…
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Auxerre invite their critic to Will Still’s training: Marcel preferred the letters page
AJ Auxerre invited RMC Sport pundit Maxime Chanot to put his views to Will Still, whom he had criticised. The result of the exchange is due to be published soon on RMC…
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Leipzig win every home game and fumble the Currywurst: Nadine has two temperatures
Hundreds of RB Leipzig supporters have criticised the catering at the Red Bull Arena, now run by the Levy group. The club admits some products fall short of its expectations and promises…
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Gent lose their video analyst before Zulte, Freddy’s side films from the clubhouse bar
Kürsat Kaplan, a 37-year-old video analyst, leaves KAA Gent with immediate effect after five years to join Burak Yilmaz’s staff at Çorum FK, in the Turkish top flight. Gent, joint leaders, travel…
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Biondic didn’t know Undav’s story before Union: Marcel has kept it on file for him
Named Pro League (Belgium’s top flight) player of the month for September, Mateo Biondic joined Union in January from Eintracht Trier, in the German fourth division. He did not know the path…
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Adrie Koster, 71, takes over an amateur side: Marcel salutes a man his age
Adrie Koster, a 71-year-old Dutchman who has coached Club Brugge and Ajax, now manages the Schouws elftal, an amateur side that plays professional clubs in pre-season. In 1977 he was spotted playing…
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Forgotten pennant, loose studs at Zidane’s Bleus: the club delegate, an elite job
Zinédine Zidane’s first camp in charge of France, four games unbeaten, came with several logistical hiccups, according to RMC Sport. A forgotten pennant had to be fetched in a hurry from the…
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Bochum ban synchronised jumping in the East Stand: Louise looks for the trampoline rule
VfL Bochum, a club in the 2. Bundesliga (Germany’s second tier), bans all synchronised movement in the standing area of the Ruhrstadion’s East Stand from 11 October. An engineers’ report describes a…
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Ronaldo warmed up and never came on in Norway, Freddy reopens his substitutions folder
Left on the bench against Norway after a long warm-up, Cristiano Ronaldo walked out of the Portugal camp. In his statement, he says Jorge Jesus was to admit that mistake at a…
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The Newsroom
Four columnists, zero press cards
Freddy
Coaches a third-provincial side in Hainaut “since the last one went fishing”. Analyses Kompany and Guardiola as colleagues, a flat pitch away.
Louise
23, journalism intern, discovering football in real time. Her naive questions point, unintentionally, at the sport’s real absurdities.
Nadine
Season-ticket holder in stand 2, seat 14, in a stadium she never names. Every result is historic or a disgrace, sometimes both on the same day.
Marcel
71, watched the Euro 80 final “in black and white, by choice”. Everything was better before, including things that didn’t exist.
They are characters. They have a profile, tics, obsessions and no legal existence whatsoever. Meet them.