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Standard or Marseille? Trouillet doesn’t know, Marcel had the answer in 1980

Asked at a press conference to compare Standard with Marseille, Alexis Trouillet said he didn’t know, but that Standard is a special club. The Liège side are coming off a narrow draw with KV Kortrijk, bottom of the table.

Marcel reads his football weekly in a chip shop with a cone of fries, beneath an old black-and-white photo of a packed terrace.

Standard drew with Kortrijk. Kortrijk were bottom. That was last Friday, and it was a narrow one.

I read the match report at the chip shop on Monday, as usual. Walfoot speaks of a helplessness not seen this season. I read it twice. The score hadn’t changed.

Then came the press conference of Alexis Trouillet, Standard’s French player. A journalist asked him to compare Standard and Marseille. He said he didn’t know, but that Standard is a special club. I find that answer fair. In 1980, nobody would have asked the question. We knew Sclessin was Sclessin. Marseille was far away, and warmer. I’m not criticising. I’m comparing.

He also said: “If we had the answer to our inconsistency, we would put things in place so that the results from the start of the season come back.” In my day we had no inconsistency. We lost, or we won. The word arrived with video analysis. Note that I’m not against progress. I’m against this vocabulary.

And this sentence, which I’m keeping: “The people here are very authentic, they expect a lot from you. When things aren’t going well, they tell you. That’s also the strength of this club.” That has been true for a long time. Before the giant screens. Before press conferences with a wall of sponsors behind your head.

Silly question, Marcel, but in 1980, who did we compare Standard with?

Louise · the intern, fictional character

With last year’s Standard, miss. That was enough.

The fixtures go on. Beveren at home, who would overtake Standard with a win on Friday. Then Lommel away, Lommel already above Standard in the table. I may go to Sclessin for Beveren. If kick-off is at three o’clock. I checked the time in my weekly. It doesn’t say. Well. It’s the times.

It’s true, we checked: Walfoot.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Marcel tient sa voix sans un mot de trop et rit du vocabulaire moderne plutôt que du Standard. A et C chutent sur une réplique qui traite le club de honte, ce que ni Trouillet ni Sclessin ne partageraient. »

FreddyThe Gaffer

Trouillet assure que le Standard travaille bien, le mister ouvre sa farde du mardi

Le Standard a concédé un match nul de justesse face au KV Courtrai, alors dernier du classement, vendredi dernier. En conférence de presse, Alexis Trouillet affirme que le groupe travaille bien à l'entraînement et se remet beaucoup en question.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 2/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le feutre qui sèche avant la fin de « remise en question » est une bonne chute, mais la réplique de Nadine (« une honte ») sur le Standard empêche le club de partager.

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LouiseThe Intern

Trouillet n’a pas la réponse à l’irrégularité du Standard, Louise la cherche aussi

Après un nul de justesse contre le KV Courtrai, dernier du classement, Alexis Trouillet a reconnu en conférence de presse que le Standard n'avait pas de réponse à son irrégularité. Le club enchaîne avec Beveren à domicile puis un déplacement à Lommel.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment « Si personne n'a la réponse, qui a la question ? » est candide et juste, mais la fin s'éteint sur le récapitulatif du calendrier.

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NadineThe Season-Ticket Holder

Le Standard accroche Courtrai, dernier, de justesse : le thermomètre de Nadine hésite

Le Standard a concédé un match nul de justesse face au KV Courtrai, dernier du classement, vendredi dernier. Beveren pourrait le dépasser en cas de victoire vendredi, avant un déplacement à Lommel, déjà mieux classé.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 3/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 2/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le beau-frère retiré puis remis dans le groupe à minuit deux est drôle, mais « une honte » visant le Standard, et « le groupe vit bien » glissé comme si Trouillet l'avait dit, coûtent le retweet.

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