The news that overlaps a little

Ronaldo “available” but absent while Jesus stays: Louise looks for the misunderstanding

According to CNN Portugal, Cristiano Ronaldo will not return to the national team as long as Jorge Jesus is the head coach. In his statement the player says he is available, though, and federation president Pedro Proença calls it a “misunderstanding”.

Louise with a tabbed notebook faces three men in suits each pointing a different way, beside an empty chair draped with a scarf.

Silly question, but when everybody says the same thing and means something different, what is that called? I opened my notebook, created a tab called “Portugal”, then three sub-tabs. I may need a fourth.

First sub-tab, Cristiano Ronaldo. He left the national team camp last week after a disagreement with Jorge Jesus. In a very long statement, he says the coach “broke his word”, apologises to his teammates and the supporters, accepts any sanction, and writes, according to HLN: “I remain available for the national team and will return once any possible suspension has been served.”

Second sub-tab, CNN Portugal. According to the channel, Ronaldo will not return while Jesus is the coach, and he reportedly made that clear to the federation. Available, then. But not now. Or not with him. I wrote both in pencil.

Third sub-tab, Jorge Jesus, after the 2-1 win over Norway: “That’s why, if ‘Cris’ wants it, I will simply call him up in November. It’s up to him to decide.” Then: “But for me, there was never an issue.” It all started with a warm-up that never led to a place on the pitch, he explained.

And then there is Pedro Proença, the federation president: “It’s a misunderstanding, let me be clear about that, and it has to be settled internally.” I underlined “let me be clear”. It is the only sentence in the tab that announces it will be clear.

Let me recap. The player is available. The coach will call him up if he wants. The president says it’s a misunderstanding. Nobody says no. And yet there is nobody at the camp. I’m told it’s always been like this with national teams, fine, but what does that mean?

A misunderstanding is when people have misunderstood each other. Here, everyone understood each other perfectly. Well.

Marcel · the nostalgic, fictional character

Ronaldo, for his part, resumed training at Al Nassr on 5 October. His club plays Al Diriyah on Thursday. At least that kick-off time is written down. Anyway, I still have a lot to learn.

It’s true, we checked: HLN.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Seule Louise rit de la contradiction entre les trois discours, joueur, sélectionneur et président, sans prendre parti ni qualifier le geste de Ronaldo. Les trois autres font porter le comique sur le joueur, en remplaçant vexé ou en boudeur bavard. »

FreddyThe Gaffer

Ronaldo s’échauffe sans entrer et quitte le Portugal : Freddy connaît ce banc

Cristiano Ronaldo a quitté le camp de la sélection portugaise après un désaccord avec Jorge Jesus, parti selon le sélectionneur d'un échauffement sans entrée en jeu. Selon CNN Portugal, il ne reviendra pas tant que Jesus sera en poste.

  • Funniness 3/5
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The editor-in-chief’s comment Les talons-fesses jusqu'à la 90e sont vécus, mais ramener le grief de Ronaldo à un remplaçant vexé du dimanche le place du mauvais côté de la blague.

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NadineThe Season-Ticket Holder

Ronaldo boude Jesus, Jesus l’attend en novembre : le Portugal a son feuilleton

Cristiano Ronaldo a quitté le camp du Portugal après un désaccord avec Jorge Jesus et, selon CNN Portugal, ne reviendra pas tant que celui-ci sera sélectionneur. Jesus affirme qu'il le convoquera en novembre si le joueur le souhaite.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment Le beau-frère et son pouce font sourire, mais « boude » dans le titre caractérise Ronaldo, et l'effet « historique » du communiqué tombe à plat.

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MarcelThe Nostalgic

Ronaldo s’explique dans un très long communiqué, Marcel regrette la bouderie muette

Cristiano Ronaldo a quitté le camp de la sélection portugaise après un désaccord avec Jorge Jesus. Dans un long communiqué, il accuse le sélectionneur d'avoir « rompu sa parole », s'excuse et accepte toute sanction de la fédération.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment Le Marcel sans exclamation est juste et la réplique de Louise est bonne, mais le titre fait de la longueur du communiqué de Ronaldo la cible, et il ne pourra pas partager.

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