The news that overlaps a little

Van Bommel says Belgium break records in the data, Louise looks for them before Paris

Ahead of Monday’s Nations League match against France in Paris, Mark van Bommel says Belgium broke records in each of their first three games: high-intensity runs, distances covered, sprints. Kevin De Bruyne and Youri Tielemans are suspended and will miss it.

Louise on a train frowns at her open notebook, where a tab marked with a question mark sits above a blank page.

Silly question, but who do you break a record against? Mark van Bommel said: “I looked at the data from our first three matches and we broke records every time.” High-intensity runs, distances covered, sprints. I wrote it all down in the notebook, tab “Devils”, sub-tab “things that run”.

In the same article in L’Avenir (a Belgian newspaper), he also said this: “I shouldn’t have told you about that.” I read it three times on the 7.32 train. What is “that”? I checked, and actually I don’t know. I opened a tab specially. It’s empty, but it has a title.

What I do know is the rest. Belgium play France on Monday in Paris. It’s the fourth match of the window, the fourth in eleven days. The manager says it’s “the biggest challenge we’ll have had of the four in this Nations League window”. De Bruyne and Tielemans are suspended. Speaking to Voetbalprimeur, he said other lads have to stand up. I first understood that they were sitting.

There’s also a number nobody had explained to me: this will be the 80th France-Belgium, with 30 wins each. Thirty all. In basketball, a game can’t end level, I looked. Here, it seems a whole history can.

Records every game, Louise. Historic. I’m weighing my words.

Nadine · the season-ticket holder, fictional character

What troubles me is that the records are broken against yourself. In the next match, you have to run more than the previous Belgium, who were already running more than the one before. On Monday it will be the fourth attempt in eleven days. The manager also says he is careful not to overload his players, and that some of them will start for the fourth time.

And there is no plan B. He said so to the RTBF (the French-language public broadcaster): “We don’t have a plan B.” A plan B, he says, means changing the system, and there isn’t time. I highlighted it in yellow.

Anyway, I still have a lot to learn. Especially what “that” meant.

It’s true, we checked: L'Avenir.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angle in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Freddy est le seul à transformer chaque déclaration du sélectionneur en scène de vestiaire concrète et drôle, avec des faits intacts. Nadine perd le test du retweet sur une seule réplique, et Marcel date une scène que le noyau ne date pas. »

FreddyThe Gaffer

Van Bommel n’a « pas de plan B » contre la France, Freddy n’en a jamais eu non plus

Mark van Bommel a déclaré que la Belgique n'a pas de plan B avant d'affronter la France lundi à Paris, un plan B signifiant selon lui un changement de système pour lequel il n'y a pas le temps. Il peut aligner Lavia et Raskin ensemble au milieu.

  • Funniness 4/5
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  • Good nature 5/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le plan B qui est « le 4-4-2 avec plus d'énergie » et le record de quatorze joueurs comptés par le délégué lisent l'élite avec les yeux du dimanche, sans jamais quitter le fait.

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