The news that overlaps a little

Ronaldo 15 or 16 goals from 1,000: Nadine weighs her words on the disputed goal

Cristiano Ronaldo scored three times in 16 minutes as Al-Nassr beat Al-Kholood 5-3. His total stands at 984 or 985 goals depending on the source, and Al-Nassr share top spot with Koen Casteels’s Al-Qadsiah.

Nadine on her sofa looks at a frozen TV replay and a counter whose last digit flips between 984 and 985.

A hat-trick at 41. That’s historic. I’m weighing my words. 2-2 at the break against Al-Kholood, then three goals in 16 minutes, 5-3 at the end. Two assists from João Félix, one from Sadio Mané. His 67th hat-trick, the first in two years. I posted it in “Sunday Devils” before the highlights had even finished.

My brother-in-law replied “984”. Just that. A number.

Because here’s the thing: the Belgian sites 7sur7 and Walfoot say 985 goals, other sites say 984. The dispute is a header on 23 October against Al-Faysaly, from a João Félix free kick. Ronaldo celebrated it. The replays can’t settle it between him and an own goal by Andrei Girotto. The Saudi Pro League and Al-Nassr give the goal to Ronaldo, Transfermarkt gives it to Girotto. A goal that exists for the league and not for one website, that’s a disgrace. I’m weighing my words on that too. And on top of that, in the tenth minute, VAR had ruled one out for offside. VAR, which has never blown for us. This Thursday, “us” was Al-Nassr.

Ronaldo said: “All my goals are filmed. And I’ve got proof.” Now that’s a captain’s line. I’ve made it the profile picture of the group.

Silly question, but if the defender touched it, does Girotto get an extra goal somewhere too?

Louise · the intern, fictional character

And there’s the Belgian in all this. Al-Nassr have 28 points, the same as Al-Qadsiah, Koen Casteels’s team, who lead by one point from Al-Hilal. According to Walfoot, Al-Nassr have a game in hand. Casteels on top, historic. A game in hand for the others, a disgrace. Both, really. Well, not bad.

Now we take it one goal at a time, eh. 15 to go. Or 16.

It’s true, we checked: RMC Sport.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « B et C font vraiment rire et restent fidèles ; C l'emporte par son vécu de groupe WhatsApp et la rotation qui écarte Freddy. A tombe sur une règle de basket inventée, D sur une VAR qu'on fait parler là où le noyau ne parle que de ralentis. »

FreddyThe Gaffer

Ronaldo réclame un but contesté avec « des preuves » : le mister ressort la farde du délégué

Auteur d'un triplé avec Al-Nassr contre Al-Kholood (5-3), Cristiano Ronaldo compte 985 buts pour la Saudi Pro League, 984 pour Transfermarkt. En cause : une tête contre Al-Faysaly, peut-être déviée par Andrei Girotto.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment La farde au bic du délégué parti à la friterie et la chute « onze, peut-être douze, selon le délégué » tiennent ; seul le « match de moins » est mal rattaché grammaticalement.

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MarcelThe Nostalgic

Les ralentis ne tranchent pas le 982e but de Ronaldo : Marcel n’en est pas surpris

La Saudi Pro League et Al-Nassr attribuent à Cristiano Ronaldo une tête marquée contre Al-Faysaly le 23 octobre, que Transfermarkt compte comme un but contre son camp d'Andrei Girotto. Après son triplé contre Al-Kholood (5-3), il compte 984 ou 985 buts.

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  • Faithfulness 3/5
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The editor-in-chief’s comment « Elle sait dire non, elle ne sait pas dire à qui » est une belle ligne, mais attribuer à la VAR l'indécision des ralentis du 23 octobre force un peu le noyau.

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