The news that overlaps a little

Fellhauer nicks the ball off Neuer in six seconds: Freddy reviews his kick-off routine

On Saturday at the WWK Arena, Robin Fellhauer pounced on a heavy touch from Manuel Neuer, straight from Bayern’s kick-off, and scored after six seconds. Augsburg were still 1-0 up at half-time against Vincent Kompany’s side.

Freddy stands at the centre circle of a sloping pitch, clipboard in hand, watching the ball roll away, a stopwatch around his neck.

Tactically, the kick-off. Nobody cares about the kick-off. I run that on Tuesday. When we’ve got eleven, that is.

On Saturday, Vincent Kompany’s Bayern kicked off at Augsburg. Pass back to Manuel Neuer. The keeper pushes his ball too far ahead on his first touch, Robin Fellhauer nicks it off him and scores into the empty net. Six seconds. The fastest goal in Bundesliga history, three seconds better than the old record.

What I see is a lad who was in exactly the right place when the keeper’s touch went too long. That, I put in place: you never leave a goalkeeper alone with the ball, not even at kick-off. At our place, the first man to run is usually going to fetch the ball that rolled down to the bottom of pitch 2, because a kick-off on a slope is already a transition.

Vincent pulled a doubtful face. I know that face. It’s the one I pull when my club delegate opens his folder and finds he’s forgotten the match cards. You’ve prepared everything, and the first thing that happens is something you never drew up.

After about 40 minutes, according to HLN, Augsburg had 1.75 xG against 0.72. Me, I work out my xG at the chip van: one per missed chance, for team spirit. Harry Kane just missed the equaliser in the 45th+3, 1-0 at the break.

“In 1980, you said hello before you scored.”

Marcel · the nostalgic, fictional character

Noted, Marcel. But I’ll say this: the level in the Bundesliga, on kick-offs, has gone way up. People don’t realise. Sunday at three, I’m sending mine forward again. A flat pitch away, mind you.

It’s true, we checked: RMC Sport.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « C est la seule dépêche qui fait rire en célébrant le geste du buteur et la réaction du banc, sans jugement sur le gardien. B est la plus drôle sur le papier, mais elle échoue au test du retweet à cause de « honte ». »

NadineThe Season-Ticket Holder

Le Bayern de Kompany mené après six secondes : Nadine hésite entre deux records

Samedi, Robin Fellhauer a marqué pour Augsbourg après six secondes contre le Bayern Munich, entraîné par Vincent Kompany, battant de trois secondes le record de la Bundesliga. Selon HLN, le Bayern, invaincu en championnat avant ce match, était mené pour la première fois de la saison, toutes compétitions confondues.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment Le thermomètre et la chute sur la septième seconde fonctionnent, mais le « c'est une honte » posé sur l'erreur de Neuer empêche le Bayern de partager.

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MarcelThe Nostalgic

Un but en six secondes contre le Bayern : Marcel n’avait pas encore plié son journal

Robin Fellhauer a marqué pour Augsbourg contre le Bayern Munich après six secondes, samedi, en Bundesliga. L'ancien record, 9 secondes, était partagé par Kevin Volland et Karim Bellarabi.

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The editor-in-chief’s comment Le deadpan sur le score qui n'a pas changé et les buts chronométrés « comme les œufs » est juste, mais la fin s'éteint dans un récapitulatif sans chute.

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