The news that overlaps a little

Klopp will “keep studying” Bayern, Louise offers her revision notes

At half-time of Bayern-Arsenal, on DAZN, Jürgen Klopp said he doesn’t know how Bayern defend when they lose the ball. Vincent Kompany refused to answer at the press conference.

Louise offers her notebook, with an empty 'tactique' tab, to a puzzled coach facing a tactics board covered in tangled arrows.

Silly question, but when the Germany head coach says he’ll keep studying, what does he study? I got out my notebook, tab “tactics”, which was empty.

At half-time of Bayern Munich-Arsenal, DAZN interviewed Jürgen Klopp pitchside. According to HLN, he said: “To this day, I don’t know how Bayern Munich defend when they lose the ball. Still, I’ll keep studying.” He mentioned man-marking, then not, then a hybrid system, both in the same match. “What is it now?”

I found that reassuring. I don’t know either. But I’ve only been an intern since September.

He also talked about Harry Kane: “Harry Kane is always everywhere.” He sees him dropping back to press in midfield. I wrote down “everywhere” and underlined it. I’m told that’s a criticism. Fine, but what does that mean?

Then the press conference. Vincent Kompany arrived at five to midnight. A German journalist asked him for Bayern’s instructions without the ball, quoting Klopp. Answer: “I’m not answering that. Next question.” And his press officer: “Good answer, Vincent. Next question.”

I checked, and actually it’s the first time I’ve seen anyone mark an answer live. I’d like that press officer for my exams.

And this isn’t new. Before Bayern’s first Bundesliga match, Klopp had already criticised the decision to play left-back Nathaniel Brown as a number 10. A day later, Kompany invited him to a Bayern training session and offered him a meeting room to talk with the club’s Germany internationals.

So Klopp was offered the lessons, and a room.

In my day, we didn’t understand defending either. We didn’t say so on television.

Marcel · the nostalgic, fictional character

Anyway, I still have a lot to learn. He said so too.

It’s true, we checked: HLN.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.