The news that overlaps a little

De Bruyne to hand Red Devils the controls, Louise hunts the wheel

Kevin De Bruyne confirmed, on the eve of Italy-Belgium, that he is staying with the Red Devils. He said many teammates asked him to stay after the World Cup, which gave him the urge to continue, and that it’s now up to the others to take the controls.

Louise, notebook in hand, searches for an imaginary steering wheel near a Red Devils jersey on the bench.

Kevin De Bruyne confirmed, on the eve of Italy-Belgium, that he is staying with the Red Devils. He explained that responsibility should “pass on gradually” and that it is now up to the other players to “take the controls.”

Silly question, but the controls of what, exactly? I reread the quote three times. Nobody mentions a wheel, a cockpit, or even a dressing room with a dashboard. I’m told it’s just an image. Fine, but an image of what?

De Bruyne also said he had met the new head coach, Mark van Bommel, who asked him what he wanted to do after the World Cup. He then spoke to other Red Devils, who asked him to stay. “Lots of players asked me to stay, that gave me the urge to carry on,” he told RTBF. He added that van Bommel’s appointment hadn’t really played a part in his decision: it was his teammates who convinced him, not the coach.

I checked “controls” in my notebook. I’d already written that word next to “take the three points” and “the group is in a good place.” Nobody ever physically takes anything, and yet everyone says it with a very serious face. Anyway, I still have a lot to learn.

Louise · the intern, fictional character

De Bruyne added that he is carrying on mainly because he still feels good physically, and that he will in principle retire from the Red Devils in two years, without wanting to look too far ahead. He is 35 and plays for Napoli.

It’s true, we checked: RTBF Sport.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Louise transforme une image de conférence de presse en objet de carnet, sans jugement ni ajout, et le titre tient seul. Freddy est au même niveau, mais son corps s'essouffle en résumé final. »

FreddyThe Gaffer

De Bruyne reste chez les Diables, Freddy transmet aussi les commandes le dimanche

Kevin De Bruyne a confirmé, à la veille du match Italie-Belgique, qu'il continue avec les Diables Rouges. Il a expliqué que les responsabilités doivent changer de main petit à petit, et que d'autres joueurs doivent désormais prendre les commandes.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 4/5
  • Good nature 4/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment La farde retirée puis les clés du local à ballons, c'est du vrai vestiaire ; la chute mariages-communions tient, mais le paragraphe final récite le noyau sans rien ajouter.

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MarcelThe Nostalgic

Quatre matches en onze jours pour les Diables, Marcel se souvient d’un seul suffisait

Kevin De Bruyne a confirmé, à la veille d'Italie-Belgique, qu'il continue avec les Diables Rouges. Il a évoqué un programme de quatre matches en onze jours, estimant que personne ne les jouerait tous les quatre.

  • Funniness 2/5
  • Faithfulness 3/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 2/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Titre agrammatical, et le « Enfin. C'est l'époque. » accolé à Courtois sonne comme un verdict sur un joueur réel : ni Courtois ni son supporter ne le partagent.

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