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Antigua & Barbuda lead 5-0 and finish with nine, Freddy gives a lesson in game management

Antigua & Barbuda beat Anguilla 5-0 in the Concacaf Nations League. At 5-0, Keon Greene and then Shalon Knight were sent off by referee Wikelson Bonnet for pulling the dreadlocks of Aedan Scipio, on as a second-half substitute.

Freddy lectures his amateur team beside a board reading '5-0', referencing a hair-pulling red card incident.

The match was long over as a contest. Antigua & Barbuda were 5-0 up on Anguilla when Keon Greene pulled Aedan Scipio backwards by the hair near the byline. Red card. Shortly after, Shalon Knight did the exact same thing to the same forward. Red card too. Two sendings-off in twenty minutes, and the win was never in doubt.

Freddy saw the footage on his phone on Monday, between two lines of the third provincial division (Belgium’s Sunday amateur leagues) table. He turned it into a team talk.

So, tactically, at 5-0, what do you do? You rotate, you keep the ball, you put the block to sleep. Me, at 5-0, which has only happened to me once, I brought off my right-back so he could go open the clubhouse bar. That’s management. But the important bit is communication: after the first red card, you turn to the bench and tell the next man, hands are for clapping, not pulling hair. I run that on Tuesday. When we’ve got eleven, that is. These lads finished with nine, and with nine they held onto a 5-0 lead. That, I don’t do. Not yet.

Freddy · the gaffer, fictional character

The gaffer then pulled out his lineup folder, the one he won’t even lend the club delegate, and wanted a word on the officiating.

Referee, sir, I say this with all due respect: the same foul twice, the same card twice, that’s called consistency. My dressing room doesn’t need VAR, it has the club delegate, and the delegate notes everything down. Two identical fouls in twenty minutes, he’d have underlined it in red in the file and we’d still be talking about it at the bar over a bag of chips. And the forward on the other side, on as a second-half substitute, did his job: he drew in two defenders. At 36. The level has gone way up, people don’t realise.

Freddy · the gaffer, fictional character

The referee for the match was Haiti’s Wikelson Bonnet. Aedan Scipio, 36, plays for Roaring Lions FC.

It’s true, we checked: VoetbalPrimeur.be.

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Our columnists’ reactions are fictional; the facts and real quotes are sourced above.

The other angles in French

The editor-in-chief chose this one: « Seul Freddy produit un vrai décalage incarné et tient le rire sur la répétition du geste, pas sur la victime ni sur les exclus. Louise et Nadine constatent plus qu'elles ne font rire, Marcel est juste mais son titre extrapole. »

LouiseThe Intern

Deux rouges pour le même geste en vingt minutes, Louise cherche ce qui a manqué au briefing

En Concacaf Nations League, Antigua & Barbuda a battu Anguilla 5-0 malgré deux cartons rouges reçus en vingt minutes. Keon Greene puis Shalon Knight ont été exclus pour la même faute : avoir tiré les dreadlocks de l'attaquant Aedan Scipio.

  • Funniness 2/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 4/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment La question « le premier carton sert à quoi pour les autres ? » est le bon fil, mais la comparaison avec le basket est plate et la chute « personne ne sait » retombe.

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NadineThe Season-Ticket Holder

Un 5-0 terminé à neuf en Nations League, Nadine ne sait plus quoi ressentir

En Concacaf Nations League, Antigua & Barbuda a battu Anguilla 5-0. Keon Greene et Shalon Knight ont été exclus en vingt minutes pour le même geste, tirer les dreadlocks de l'attaquant Aedan Scipio, alors que le score était déjà acquis.

  • Funniness 2/5
  • Faithfulness 5/5
  • Voice 4/5
  • Retweet 2/5
  • Good nature 3/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment Le thermomètre historique/honte tourne à vide et « c'est une honte » visant deux joueurs nommés casse le partage possible.

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MarcelThe Nostalgic

Deux rouges pour la même faute en vingt minutes, Marcel note que le second a vu le premier

Antigua & Barbuda a battu Anguilla 5-0 en Concacaf Nations League. À 5-0, l'arbitre Wikelson Bonnet a exclu Keon Greene puis Shalon Knight pour avoir tiré les dreadlocks d'Aedan Scipio.

  • Funniness 3/5
  • Faithfulness 4/5
  • Voice 5/5
  • Retweet 3/5
  • Good nature 4/5

The editor-in-chief’s comment « En 1980, on apprenait des erreurs des autres. C'était plus économique » est du bon Marcel, mais le titre affirme que le second « a vu » le premier, ce que le noyau ne dit pas.

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